345Kviews
Funny
ADVERTIsem*nT
You aren’t the only one who stages arguments in the shower with shampoo bottles as your imaginary audience. Maybe you’re replaying a quarrel from years ago and hoping to come up with good comebacks compared to the ones you had at the time.
However, not all of us are blessed with a wit as sharp as a whip. We need some assistance to beat someone in the battle of words. You’ve come to the right place for that because we have a list of great hand-picked comebacks to use on every topic under the sun.
You’ll never have to repeat the mistake of standing there speechless when someone disses you; instead, you’ll have savage comebacks ready for use! With these quips, there will be nothing left for the listener to do but keep walking! These examples are just the tip of the iceberg; you must memorize them to prepare for anything.
How Do You Give a Comeback?
A comeback is a quick response to some critical comment made by another person. If you are looking to give good comebacks in an argument, there are specific steps you need to follow to have the upper hand.
- Be relaxed and avoid losing your temper. If you start getting angry, you will lose your nerves, and the other person will automatically have power over you.
- Don’t exaggerate and say something outrageous. Stick to the facts and pick on the truth because that will be more powerful.
- Speak clearly and avoid muttering or saying ‘um’ and ‘uh’ too much.
- Have other funny comebacks ready so you aren’t left speechless after their response.
- Use their words against them and make it a part of your following comebacks. For example, if they call you an idiot, you could say, ‘It takes one to know one.’
These simple steps can help you save face during an argument and win you the respect of your opponent.
Without further ado, check out these Shakespearean insults that’ll help you win and leave your opponent dumbfounded. Be sure to vote for the brutal comebacks you think might be helpful to you and share this article with your friends!
40 Good Roasts and Comebacks You Need to Try
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
441points
POST
InFaMouS MoNoX InFaMouS MoNoX Community Member Follow
Best one yet!
Vote comment up
42points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#2
Somewhere out there, there’s a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. I think you should go and apologize to it.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
331points
POST
Meraj Meraj Community Member Follow
Many trees, actually.
Vote comment up
42points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#3
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
309points
POST
ItsNOTGuac ItsNOTGuac Community Member Follow
DAMNNNNNNN
Vote comment up
39points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#4
I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
309points
POST
Gia Burner Gia Burner Community Member Follow
There are most def some people who need to hear this
Vote comment up
49points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#5
Your family tree must be a cactus ‘cause you’re all a bunch of pricks.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
298points
POST
Loading Screen Tips🇺🇦 Loading Screen Tips🇺🇦 Community Member Follow
ooh i like that one.
Vote comment up
46points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#6
What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
282points
POST
Sweetie Cake️ Sweetie Cake️ Community Member Follow
OMG NOOO BUT YESSSS
Vote comment up
59points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#7
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
277points
POST
Gia Burner Gia Burner Community Member Follow
Who asked but more sophisticated
Vote comment up
45points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTIsem*nT
#8
The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
257points
POST
SquirrelWatcher SquirrelWatcher Community Member Follow
🤣🤣
Vote comment up
27points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTIsem*nT
If you’re faced with a hater who keeps making negative comments about you, it’s time to take action and stand up to them. Put them in their place and let them know they cannot treat you that way. Here’s how you can creatively use comebacks and insults for your haters: You’ll probably see a look of shock or confusion on your hater’s face. Savor that look because you will see more of it if you use these savage comebacks.What Are The Best Comebacks for Haters?
#9
Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
235points
POST
Justin Justin Community Member Follow
I'm a cop and I'll be using this at work tonight
Vote comment up
106points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#10
You are the human version of period cramps.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
226points
POST
Sweetie Cake️ Sweetie Cake️ Community Member Follow
OMFG I WOULD USE THIS! PERIOD CRAMPS ARE A HUGE PAIN IN THE A*S… OR STOMACH..
Vote comment up
61points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTIsem*nT
#11
You’re the reason God created the middle finger.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
215points
POST
Brin Este Brin Este Community Member Follow
"You're more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel" is one of my favorites
Vote comment up
93points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#12
Someday you’ll go far. I hope you stay there.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
208points
POST
ItsNOTGuac ItsNOTGuac Community Member Follow
Yedededededededededededededededed
Vote comment up
18points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#13
You are like a cloud. When you disappear it’s a beautiful day.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
202points
POST
Maria C Maria C Community Member Follow
I actually like rainy days.
Vote comment up
53points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#14
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
198points
POST
Dillon Stuart Dillon Stuart Community Member Follow
Indeed
Vote comment up
27points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#15
It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
189points
POST
Terry Tobias Terry Tobias Community Member Follow
Another keeper.
Vote comment up
26points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#16
I understand everything you said. I’m choosing to ignore you.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
188points
POST
... ... Community Member Follow
I need this on a sign
Vote comment up
21points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
Let’s say you’re talking to someone, and they suddenly tell you to shut up. It might be out of jest, or it might be during a fight. Regardless of the situation, it is nerve-wracking to come up with a response right away. That’s why there are two options you can take depending on the situation. ADVERTIsem*nT You can opt for clever, funny comebacks and be light-hearted or sarcastic. This will dissolve the tension and make it seem like you’re the bigger person. Or you can go down the savage route and say something explosive, earning you respect and maybe filling your bully with fear. Here are the best comebacks to shut someone up: Funny InsultsWhat to Say if Someone Said ‘Shut Up’ to You?
#17
Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
185points
POST
🦋vall🦋シ︎ 🦋vall🦋シ︎ Community Member Follow
🤣🤣
Vote comment up
15points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#18
People like you are the reason I’m on medication.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
179points
POST
Daniel Alicea Daniel Alicea Community Member Follow
Can I have this tattooed? On my forehead.
Vote comment up
35points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#19
May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
178points
POST
Sweetie Cake️ Sweetie Cake️ Community Member Follow
that’s the worst thing u can wish on someone
Vote comment up
44points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#20
Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up?
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
170points
POST
SAPHINE WITT - STUDENT SAPHINE WITT - STUDENT Community Member Follow
love it
Vote comment up
21points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#21
Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
151points
POST
Terry Tobias Terry Tobias Community Member Follow
Another good zinger to remember.
Vote comment up
9points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTIsem*nT
See Also on Bored Panda
Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”
Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women
#22
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
150points
POST
Ɔ~ã~Ⓡ~ș~Ȭ~ɴ Ɔ~ã~Ⓡ~ș~Ȭ~ɴ Community Member Follow
lol i need to use this on my classmate ZACH IF UR OUT THERE THIS IS FOR U
Vote comment up
21points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#23
The last time I saw something like you… I flushed.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
143points
POST
InFaMouS MoNoX InFaMouS MoNoX Community Member Follow
Wow harshhhhhhhhh
Vote comment up
20points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#24
I envy people who have never met you.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
142points
POST
Henry Russell Henry Russell Community Member Follow
that remind me of this conver sation in this show called Sam and Cat. man: i do not know your mother Sam: must be nice
Vote comment up
23points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
When you’re talking to your friends or a group of people, and someone interrupts you, it’s already a sign of disrespect. But it’s even worse if they say, ‘Who asked?’ This is an uncomfortable situation because it is a tactic to devalue your words and make you look small. You must be prepared if someone decides to do this to you. These are three of the best roast comebacks you can try out. The best thing you can do in this situation is to use the power of your words and turn the situation around. Try some of these witty comebacks the next time you encounter such a person. ADVERTIsem*nTWhat to Say if Someone Said ‘Who Asked?’
#25
You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
135points
POST
ItsNOTGuac ItsNOTGuac Community Member Follow
HES GOIN KILL US ALL
Vote comment up
22points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#26
Louie Armstrong would have never released “What a Wonderful World” had he met you.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
133points
POST
RandomAlfalfa RandomAlfalfa Community Member Follow
That’s just… evil
Vote comment up
27points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#27
I’ve been called worse by better.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
131points
POST
Kat Burleson Kat Burleson Community Member
This one is self insulting. like saying; I suck,everyone knows, and I don't care.
Vote comment up
12points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#28
You’re impossible to underestimate.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
128points
POST
William Clark William Clark Community Member Follow
Make sense I knew you failed math
Vote comment up
3points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#29
You’re not simply a drama queen. You’re the whole royal family.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
125points
POST
Spencer Price Spencer Price Community Member Follow
Quit peasant!!!
Vote comment up
16points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#30
You’re not stupid! You just have bad luck when you’re thinking.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
111points
POST
Dylan Pipkins Dylan Pipkins Community Member Follow
This really applies to me I suppose.
Vote comment up
7points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#31
Earth is full. Go home.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
109points
POST
Atchaco-Leigh Atchaco-Leigh Community Member Follow
But don't come to Bicia, we're not full, we just don't want you
Vote comment up
12points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
See Also on Bored Panda
“Bought The Property, Landscaping Included”: Woman Shocked By Ex-Homeowner’s Request 2 Years Later
Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)
#32
You’re like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
107points
POST
Amy Beckler Amy Beckler Community Member Follow
Actually-my favorite is the "heel" of the loaf-more flavorful...
Vote comment up
40points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
Bullies are the worst! Their hatred and vile words can cause a lot of hurt. Whether they’re making fun of your haircut, clothes, sexuality, or personality, each comment can cause pain. That’s why it’s always great when people can stand up to bullies and speak their truth, just like these people who had incredible comebacks to hom*ophobic comments. If you’re looking for the best comebacks ever to spite your bully, then here are the five easiest ways you can roast them:What Are the Best Comebacks for Bullies?
#33
They say our brains don’t stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
107points
POST
ItsNOTGuac ItsNOTGuac Community Member Follow
And it seems like yours never even started :)
Vote comment up
23points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#34
You should come with a warning label.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
102points
POST
Deb Dedon Deb Dedon Community Member Follow
I should. Really, I should.
Vote comment up
7points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#35
Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it?
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
99points
POST
ItsNOTGuac ItsNOTGuac Community Member Follow
DAYUMMMMM
Vote comment up
15points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#36
If you were an inanimate object, you’d be a participation trophy.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
97points
POST
Spencer Price Spencer Price Community Member Follow
Why? Cause anyone can take me home afterwards
Vote comment up
30points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#37
You look like a ‘before’ picture.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
92points
POST
Ɔ~ã~Ⓡ~ș~Ȭ~ɴ Ɔ~ã~Ⓡ~ș~Ȭ~ɴ Community Member Follow
omg so true
Vote comment up
8points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#38
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
90points
POST
Spencer Price Spencer Price Community Member Follow
Stop looking at my A$$
Vote comment up
27points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#39
Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with personality.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
87points
POST
William Clark William Clark Community Member Follow
And me you with a good one... Nope can't see it
Vote comment up
2points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#40
You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
Report
Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
87points
POST
Amy Beckler Amy Beckler Community Member Follow
Oh geez. Flying butts.
Vote comment up
26points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
Note: this post originally had 143 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
The best place to test out your comebacks and flex your sense of humor is with your friends. These hilarious, friendly exchanges can help you test every burn to ensure they are epic. Fair warning: Things will get nasty if you play dirty with your friends. So you’ll want to keep things light and funny instead. Here are four of the funniest comebacks you can try on your friends without being rude: Keep trying out all these comebacks so that you become an expert roaster. If you want to up your game, learn to be sassy by taking notes from these witty company comebacks. The next time someone challenges you to a verbal duel, you must have the perfect comeback ready, so you don’t regret being silent years later. These one-liners will come in handy someday. Plus, they are a lot of fun to use. People have been using witty comebacks for centuries; don’t believe us? Here are some intelligent insults and comebacks used by historical figures.What Are Some Funny Comebacks for Friends?
Stay Sharp, Keep Practising
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!
Follow Bored Panda on Google News!
Modal close
Add Your Answer!
Not your original work? Add source
Publish
Miglė
Author, Community member
Read more »
This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.
Read less »
Miglė
Author, Community member
Read more »
This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.
Read less »
Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė
Author, BoredPanda staff
Read more »
Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!
Read less »
Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė
Author, BoredPanda staff
Read more »
Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!
Read less »
Robertas Lisickis
Author, BoredPanda staff
Read more »
Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.
Read less »
Robertas Lisickis
Author, BoredPanda staff
Read more »
Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.
Read less »
Saulė Tolstych
Author, Community member
Read more »
Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.
Read less »
Saulė Tolstych
Author, Community member
Read more »
Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.
Read less »
Beverly Noronha
Author, BoredPanda staff
Read more »
You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.
Read less »
Beverly Noronha
Author, BoredPanda staff
Read more »
You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.
Read less »
What do you think ?
POST
Abigail Coty Abigail Coty Community Member Follow
These are all rather funny but some are just flat-out mean. And perhaps that’s the point I just find it… let’s just say that I wouldn’t say some of these to anyone.
Vote comment up
15points
Vote comment down
reply
T-Rose G T-Rose G Community Member Follow
I agree with that
Vote comment up
7points
Vote comment down
reply
Load More Replies...
Tobias Reaper Tobias Reaper Community Member Follow
i am not going to continue this battle of wits with you as it appears you are unarmed
Vote comment up
12points
Vote comment down
reply
Kevin Hickey Kevin Hickey Community Member Follow
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception."- Groucho
Vote comment up
7points
Vote comment down
reply
Load More Comments
POST
Abigail Coty Abigail Coty Community Member Follow
These are all rather funny but some are just flat-out mean. And perhaps that’s the point I just find it… let’s just say that I wouldn’t say some of these to anyone.
Vote comment up
15points
Vote comment down
reply
T-Rose G T-Rose G Community Member Follow
I agree with that
Vote comment up
7points
Vote comment down
reply
Load More Replies...
Tobias Reaper Tobias Reaper Community Member Follow
i am not going to continue this battle of wits with you as it appears you are unarmed
Vote comment up
12points
Vote comment down
reply
Kevin Hickey Kevin Hickey Community Member Follow
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception."- Groucho
Vote comment up
7points
Vote comment down
reply
Load More Comments
You May Like
Taura Šitkauskaitė
Viltė Domkutė
Inga Korolkovaite
Related on Bored Panda
Related on Bored Panda
Bored Panda's Original TV Shows
Trending on Bored Panda
Newsletter
Stay Tuned to Your Favorite Categories
More categories Subscription arrow right
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
Also on Bored Panda