Chapter Text
And now, for something completely different:
Luvdisc, Luvdisc exciting and new! Come for a swim, they're expecting you, let them swim let them float to you. Luvdisc will soon be making their annual run, Luvdisc bring happiness and Heart Scales to everyone. Set a course for Hoenn, visit the ocean once again, and meet Luvdisc, the Rendezvous Pokémon who wants to rendezvous with you!
They left early the next morning, deciding that canvassing the area between their current location and Vermillion was the better bet—not that the next several small towns were very promising by gym standards.
“I’m starting to really have concerns,” Ash groaned, head buried in his arms as he slouched against a desk at the next Pokémon Center.
“The good news is, sometimes the League will accept seven badges,” Brock assured him as he typed away on one of the Center’s computers. “Let’s be real here, getting Blaine’s badge alone will probably get you in.”
“But is that guaranteed?”
“Which is why we’re checking the League website,” Brock told him. “They’ve got a list of towns and gyms with badges that they’re accepting, we can work our way through them and…okay next gym leader meeting I’m suggesting a map because a list is not intuitive I’ve never even heard of some of these towns.”
“So how are things going?” Misty asked, bringing their Pokémon back over from Nurse Joy’s counter—Pikachu hopped down to the table and sniffed at the map Brock had fished out of his pack.
“Not good,” Ash admitted. “What if we just canvassed the region? We’d have to hit a lesser gym eventually.”
“If we’re doing that then I want a ‘mon that knows Fly and is big enough to carry all three of us,” Brock said flatly, frowning as he looked between the map and the computer screen. “Okay so that one group we can cross off because we tried there already…does this Center have a printer?”
“Do we even have a ‘mon that fits that criteria?” Ash asked, pondering. “I mean the only one I have that’s big enough is Lenny, but I don’t think he learns Fly.”
“What about that Aerodactyl you caught a while back?” Misty asked. “At seven badges, it’d sort of have to listen to you now—or at least, think twice about eating you.”
“How effective is that?” Ash asked Brock.
“I’d have someone like Lenny or Pikachu handy in case things go south,” Brock said, making an enlightened noise when he found the printer and turning to send the list to the device. “Keep in mind it’s already tried to eat you twice.”
“This is true,” Ash mused as Brock went to the printer. “But maybe that’s normal—maybe that’s how it says hello!”
“Maybe we consider what other Pokémon we have first,” Misty said.
“Uh…Pikachu, Lenny, Vee, Patches, Frenzy—”
“Honestly Frenzy would probably defy physics if you asked him.”
“Probably. Haunter, Louis…Venonat, Magnemite, Aerodactyl…Charmeleon.” Who probably would delight in dropping him if he evolved into Charizard. “I need to catch more Pokémon.”
“Pidgeot or Fearow would probably be big enough to carry us,” Misty said, thinking. “But then again to get one you’d probably have to catch a Pidgey or Spearow and train them up to that stage.”
“And if we do that then we might as well just keep hoofing it to the different towns,” Ash said as Brock came back over from the printer.
“So have we decided on the Aerodactyl?” Brock asked, sitting down and crossing off all the towns they had already visited.
“Are we sure we don’t have any other options?”
“Hmm…out of my Pokémon, Zubat is the only one who could possibly evolve into something big enough to carry us all—I tend towards ground-bound Pokémon, unfortunately.”
“Same,” Misty said. “Now if we had to surf somewhere we’d be fine, but…yeah none of mine evolve into anything with wings.”
“I mean Togepi might, we don’t know,” Ash said, looking at the little egg-shaped ‘mon.
“This is true, but Togepi would take longer than the Pidgey and Spearow we were discussing.”
“And then who would I swap out?” Ash asked. “Honestly at this point I’m comfortable with my team, we’ve got pretty good coverage—we should be focusing on honing our skills for the League, except for this stinking badge!”
“You still want to work with your other Pokémon,” Brock said. “You don’t get to be a Pokémon master by only training six Pokémon.”
“And Louis.”
“Six and a half,” Brock amended, double-checking the map. “Ah, here we go—there’s some towns over this way that have lesser gyms, we can swing this way and hopefully pick something up.”
“Good,” Ash gusted. “Hey do gym leaders have complaint boxes? I have one for Giovanni.”
“Pretty sure those are put in file thirteen depending on the gym leader,” Brock said, folding the map up.
“Put where?”
“The trash can.”
“I knew it.”
Ash debated on swapping out some of his ‘mons, decided to save that for later—they were striking into uncharted territory, after all, better to keep his stronger team and swap out when they were back on familiar routes on the other side of Vermillion.
“So this might take us a couple days to get to the first town,” Brock said as they reached the turning. “And one of these towns is in a pending status, so that one’s a fifty-fifty.”
“Pending status?” Misty asked.
“They’ve applied for gym status but either haven’t qualified yet, or no one has gotten out there to inspect them. Either one is likely.”
“Well we won’t know until we get there!” Ash declared happily. “Come on guys, let’s go!” Ran forward, excited—
Ran into someone heading across the turning so hard they both went down, Pokéballs scattering everywhere.
“Hey, watch where you’re—YOU.”
“Gary!?” Ash squawked, trying to untangle himself. “What are you doing here?”
Gary kicked him off, stood and dusted himself off. “I’m heading for Viridian. What are you doing, playing in the dirt?”
Ash growled at him, started scrambling around for his Pokémon. “Well I’ll show you—I’ve got seven badges you—”
Gary had been gathering his up—barked a laugh at that as Misty and Brock reached them. “Only seven? Lame.”
Brock seemed startled at that. “You’ve gotten eight badges?”
“No,” Gary said, showing his case. “I have ten.”
“Ten?” Misty asked, looking at the badges as Brock took the case to examine. “You’re only supposed to need eight why would you get ten?”
“Four of these are from alternate gyms like the Dojo in Saffron,” Brock observed. “The League would definitely accept them.”
“So as you can see,” Gary said, taking the case back. “Some of us are actually competent. Smell ya later, Ash!”
Misty had to jump to stop Ash from tackling Gary and clocking him.
“You know, someday I am really gonna let you teach that guy a lesson,” Misty said, watching Gary leave.
“Jerk,” Ash muttered, glowering after Gary until he was out of sight—directed his attention to Brock then. “How does he have ten badges? None of the gyms I called were open enough to give badges.”
“Remember when I told you to have a backup plan for your eighth badge because of Giovanni?” Brock asked. “Ever since Giovanni dropped off the face of the earth—and with Blaine being similarly hard to find—the League has been okaying new gyms popping up. There’s like…I think a dozen last count, according to the League website. And of those, we’ve already tried half of them—remember how some of them said they just ran out of badges to give? Gary probably got there first.”
“But they’re not the official badges,” Ash pointed out. “If I got the Earth Badge, that’d really rub it in Gary’s face.”
“Ash, remember finding Blaine? Remember how much work that was? Giovanni has not been sighted in years—you need an alternate approach.”
“We’ll find something,” Misty promised.
Ash was still keyed up after the whole thing with Gary, enough that when Misty challenged him to a battle to blow off steam, he readily accepted.
“Make this one less muddy, please,” Brock said, waving Darkrai away from the food he was working on.
“Got it,” Misty said, saluting him. “Go, Omastar!”
“Okay!” Ash barked, throwing his first Pokéball. “Go, Haunter!”
A flash of light—
“Uh…that’s…not my Pokémon,” Ash said, blinking at the sight of a craggy ball of rock in front of him. “What is that?”
“A Graveler?” Brock asked, confused. Checked his own belt—“No, Geodude’s still here. How did—”
Misty snapped her fingers, pointing at Ash. “When you and Gary ran into each other—you knocked your Pokéballs all over—you must have grabbed some of his by mistake!”
“What?” Ash squawked. “Oh no—no no no—”
Good news, he still had Vee and Patches and Frenzy (and Pikachu, but that was a given).
The bad news: Garry had Lenny and Haunter, and in their place Ash had Graveler and a Machoke.
“This is not good,” Ash said flatly—blinked and backed off when the ‘mons started glowing. “What—”
And then he had two totally different ‘mons in front of him.
“Okay, so not only do I have Gary’s ‘mons, they…evolved on me,” Ash said weakly.
Brock nodded. “Some Pokémon have to be well-travelled before they evolve,” he said. “Sometimes this translates as trading. That’ll be Machamp and Golem, then.”
“Great! I still want my Pokémon back.”
“I suppose I get the fun task of tracking the big lummox down,” Darkrai sighed.
“You get to bug him when you do, so….”
“Fair enough.”
Ash returned the Pokémon as Darkrai sank into the ground and darted away—turned to look at Brock. “Pokémon evolve when they’re traded?”
“Some Pokémon do,” Brock said. “Golem and Machamp, for example. Let’s see, in Kanto there’s also Alakazam and…Gengar.”
A moment of silence.
“That evolve from Haunter?” Misty asked.
“Yes, those are the ones.”
Which was when they heard a distant explosion.
Darkrai popped out of a nearby shadow. “Good news! The twerp will be more than happy to trade your ‘mons back.”
“How good is it?” Ash asked, trying to keep a straight face.
“You’ll be wanting to see for yourself.”
Darkrai was right, this was impressive.
Mostly because Gengar—nee Haunter—had treed Gary, basically, dancing around the base and cackling mightily.
“Hey!” Ash called redirecting their attention—Gengar’s head snapped around so fast Ash was surprised he didn’t hear something break, but he supposed Ghost Pokémon didn’t follow the same boundaries of physics and such.
Definitely not, considering that grin went past normal facial boundaries—
And then Gengar was scooping him up, dancing and swinging him around and cheering and alerting him to the fact that a Gengar was much bigger than him.
“Uh—I’m happy to see you too—” Ash started—
“Gengar!” Gengar barked—put Ash down and ran back over to the tree.
“Ah,” Ash noised, going to stand next to Gengar. “Hi, Gary.”
“Call your stupid Pokémon off,” Gary ordered.
“Sure. So we swapped some Pokémon by mistake—”
“You think!?”
“And I’d like mine back.”
“You can have yours!” Gary spat, waving a hand. “I tried returning it, but it hit its ball somewhere over that way.”
“Geng gen gar,” Gengar said.
“Uh, right,” Ash said, looking him up and down. “Maybe you go get your ball now?”
“Gen!” Gengar barked, scurrying off—back when Gary tried to get out of the tree again, spiny back bristling.
“I’m pretty sure you can let Gary out of the tree now—I think he learned his lesson.”
“And what lesson was that?” Gary demanded.
Gengar growled, started Shadow-Punching the tree—
“All right all right I’m SORRY—happy!?” Gary asked.
“Gen,” Gengar noised, going back to searching for his Pokéball. Ash watched him for a minute, looked back up at Gary.
“You gonna come down sometime?” he asked.
Gary growled, grumbled as he came down, finally touched down and grabbed at his belt. “Who did you get?”
“Graveler and Machoke, but they kinda evolved. You got Lenny and Gengar over there.”
“Yeah, I noticed.” Shove a ball at him, snatch his back—Ash let Lenny out to confirm it was his Gyarados.
“Gyra!” Lenny roared—looked around before looking at Ash and smiling. “Ghar.”
“Yup, that’s Lenny,” Ash confirmed, returning him.
“Good,” Gary said, stalking off. “Stupid putz.”
“I heard that.”
“GOOD!” Wave a hand irritably. “And tell your girlfriend to stop laughing!”
“She’s not my girlfriend!” Ash yelled, before looking at Misty and Brock. “Is she going to be okay?”
Brock looked at Misty, who had been laughing so hard she collapsed. “Well, she went from laughing so hard she wasn’t making sound to actually making sound so…she’s progressing, best to let her get it out of her system.”
“That wasn’t a yes.”
“It wasn’t a no either.”
“I told you it’d be a doozy,” Darkrai said, sounding inordinately pleased with himself.
“That you did,” Ash confirmed—looked over when Gengar came back with his ball. “And you—look at you! You look awesome!”
“Gengar!” Gengar cheered, grinning toothily.
“So now here we are, with the yutz with a fully-evolved ghostie. This should be fun to watch,” Darkrai observed.
“And Gary has two fully-evolved Pokémon too thanks to this,” Brock observed. Considered Misty for a bit. “I think I’ll just…go get the stuff, bring it here.”
“I think I’ll help you.”
“Nah, we could probably carry Misty,” Ash said, looking at Gengar. “What do you think?”
“Gen,” Gengar said, saluting before going over and picking Misty up, trailing after them as he carried her bridal-style. The camp was in sight by the time Misty started winding down noticeably.
“Are you okay now?” Ash asked her, walking beside Gengar.
Misty was still snickering and sputtering, but managed to pat Gengar’s snout. “Y-y-you—you are my favorite,” she declared, still giggling.
“Genhenhengar,” Gengar cackled happily.
Gengar spent the lunch and then dinner that night doing as he did when he evolved into Haunter: admiring his new limbs.
Ash, meanwhile, was admiring Gengar’s entire newness—sharp claws, thick fur, kind of blob-shaped but with a definite build to him. Like how Ursaring was shaped, only super-poofy.
“So you can totally still float, but maybe we should practice walking too,” Ash pointed out as Gengar slowly slid down to his stomach, stubby legs pointing out.
“Geng,” Gengar agreed.
“Also you get to learn those three new punching moves,” Darkrai added.
“Gheng,” Gengar said, perking up at that news.
“And—I wonder if you can learn any kicking moves now that you have legs,” Ash wondered, getting his Pokédex out.
“Mega Kick,” Darkrai said. “Probably most of the Pokémon here with legs can learn it.”
“GENG!” Gengar cheered.
With that promised, the next day had another training session. Patches couldn’t learn Mega Kick until he evolved, according to the Pokédex, but there were still plenty of other Pokémon who could learn it. Like Drowzee, oddly enough. And Psyduck.
“No no no I don’t WANT to learn new moves!” Psyduck wailed as Squirtle dragged him over to the designated training spot. “Learning new moves makes my head hurt MISTYYYY!”
“Is Squirtle picking on you again?” Misty asked, picking Psyduck up and carting him back to the picnic table near where they had stopped. “Come on, we’ll make you some tea.”
“Oh thank you.”
“LAME,” Squirtle called. “You can’t keep opting out of the classes!”
“Ever think maybe you’re too intense about this sort of thing?” Omastar asked, pointing a tentacle at him.
“You sound jealous of the fact that I have legs.”
“I assure you, it isn’t that—what are you doing?” Omastar demanded, indicating Squirtle.
“Getting my legs warmed up,” Squirtle said, doing leg stretches; Gengar imitated after a few beats. “Gotta make sure I’m ready to own at kicking.”
“Oh good grief I’m going to go see if Psyduck will share his tea,” Omastar sighed, rolling over to where Misty was sitting.
“So Omastar knows Rollout,” Ash observed, looking at the rolling Pokémon as he walked over. “Okay so the video is…well it’s basically this,” he said, turning and kicking out at the practice tree. “So it’s like Bruce Hitmonlee. Oh wait there’s no Metapod in this tree right?”
“Oh yeah I am SO going to own this move,” Squirtle cheered.
“I’m not sure about this,” Drowzee said.
“NO—no you’re not allowed to opt out of the class it’s bad enough Psyduck does.”
“So the moral of the story is ‘be faster than Psyduck,’” Bulbasaur told Drowzee, amused.
“You don’t learn this move either,” Vulpix told him. “Why are you over here?”
“Let’s be honest, these guys by themselves are trouble.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Darkrai sighed, floating by. “So who’s first?”
“Me! Me!” Lewis yipped, paw up and hopping next to Squirtle, also with his paw up. “I want to kick things!”
“Oh Lewis I’m so proud,” Squirtle sniffed, wiping a tear away as he hugged the Riolu.
“Can Lewis learn Mega Kick?” Ash asked Darkrai.
“Yes,” Darkrai told him. “Of those over here, the only ones who can’t learn the move are you, me, and the peanut gallery over there spectating.” Look at Muk when it blorped over. “You can’t learn it either—this move requires legs.”
“Glorp,” Muk noised, blobbing away.
“Okay so the Pokédex says you kick with intense power,” Ash read. “Which is just…sort of what a kick is…I have some complaints to lodge when we get back to Professor Oak’s.”
“Understandable,” Darkrai said. “Now let’s see some hustle.”
“Watch me work,” Squirtle said, giving them finger guns before ducking into his shell, spinning a bit before bouncing up and at the tree, popping out to kick hard against it before flipping back to land on his feet.
“Ha HA! Gotta change my typing to Fire look at me sizzle,” Squirtle bragged.
“No,” Drowzee said flatly. “No. I am not doing that I have stumpy legs I’m not built for jumping.”
“Pretty sure you can do it without all the flipping around,” Bulbasaur assured him.
“That’s great, Squirtle! Now you Lewis,” Ash said to the Riolu.
“Yay!” Lewis cheered, running up to the tree—leap up, kick out, stagger a bit on the landing, kick it again. “HAH!”
“NICE,” Squirtle said. “Now next I think we do like, a cartwheel up and then kick—”
“I am definitely not built for this,” Drowzee said.
“You don’t actually have to cartwheel or jump,” Darkrai told him. “Honestly the jumping runs the risk of turning into Hi-Jump Kick, and that one smarts if you miss.”
“Sounds dangerous,” Ash said.
“Fortunately the only one here who could learn it is Lewis, and not until he evolves.”
“So the trick is to not miss,” Squirtle decided. “Come on,” he said, leading Lewis over to the next tree. “We can practice the cartwheel kick over here.”
“Okay so we’re not doing Hi-Jump Kick,” Ash said. “Gengar, you’re next!”
“Make sure to yell when you do it!”
“All right!” Gengar cheered, running up. “HAH!” he yelled when he kicked out. “HAH! Punch punch KICK!”
“I thought this was the kicking class,” Pikachu said.
“I gotta learn those other three punching moves too so I have the set!” Gengar told him.
“Drain Punch, Focus Punch, Power-Up Punch,” Darkrai listed. “From personal experience, Power-Up Punch is the most fun, your attack gets boosted with every successful hit.”
“Oh I want to learn that one!” Squirtle called over. “Put that one on the list!”
“Also technically you could have learned Sucker Punch as a Gastly, which honestly sounds like you’re just slapping your face against them.”
“So would that have technically been Headbutt,” Gengar mused.
“What I want to know is why I can’t learn Mega Kick until I evolve,” Patches said. “I know Double Kick! It was one of the first moves I learned!”
“Maybe it takes extra talent to only kick once,” Pikachu said—twitched his ears when Ash called him up. “Now watch—this is how Mega Kick is done.” Ran over, catching the turf with his front paws so his back legs swung around, kicked out with a back leg.
“That looks like how I do Double Kick,” Patches said when Pikachu came back over. “Only you did it once.”
“So see? That’s how you do Mega Kick.”
“You next,” Bulbasaur said, poking Drowzee.
“Why me?” Drowzee moaned.
“Because you’re the only one of Brock’s ‘mons that can learn the move.”
“I shouldn’t have told you that,” Drowzee groused, slouching up to the tree as Gengar moved over to a different tree to keep practicing. “Okay…kick.”
“Remember how the duck punched the tree?” Darkrai asked flatly. “That was a harder hit than that.”
“You gotta holler!” Squirtle called over. “Real deep from the gut, like this! HGRAAH!”
“Rggh—AAAAA KICK PUNCH PUNCH KICK AAAAAA!” Drowzee hollered, whaling away on the tree before finally slamming his head into it. “Ow.”
“So that was Headbutt and it wasn’t on the docket today,” Darkrai told him.
“Yeah,” Drowzee said, staggering back to camp, a paw to his head. “I’m gonna go see if Psyduck will share his tea.”
“I’m going with him,” Vulpix decided, getting up and following.
“I wanna learn that move!” Lewis said brightly.
“Oh that one’s super simple,” Squirtle assured him, swaggering up to the tree. “Just think hard thoughts and slam your noggin into the target. HWAH!”
Which resulted in the tree shaking and a Pokémon falling out.
“Oops, sorry,” Squirtle said.
“Sorry!?” the Pokémon exclaimed, righting itself—a Spearow. “I’m up there minding my own business and you say you’re sorry!?”
“What am I supposed to say?”
The Spearow had to pause at that. “Well you shouldn’t be headbutting random trees! That’s rude!”
“We’re sorry!” Lewis said, paws folded as he bowed his head. “We didn’t know you were up there!”
“So headbutting trees knocks Pokémon out of them?” Ash asked Darkrai.
“I feel like I ought to clarify that Pokémon headbutting them does,” Darkrai told him. “Knowing you, you’d try it yourself.”
“Yeah well—hey!” Ash called when the Spearow made ready to take off. “Wait—you want to travel with us?”
“Seriously?” the Spearow sniffed. “You want me to travel with the goon squad?”
“Technically since Ash has six of us, you’d be sent to Professor Oak’s lab,” Patches told the bird.
“How is this an improvement?”
“Hey!” Togepi chirped, running over. “Uncle Drowzee said you were kicking things! Can I try?”
“Sure,” Darkrai said, picking Ash up and drifting backward a good five feet. “Whenever you’re ready.”
“Make sure you do a flip!” Squirtle told Togepi. “And yell out too!”
“Right! HWAH!” Togepi yelled, running up and flipping into a tree trunk—
And knocking the tree down.
Dead silence as everyone processed this.
“Okay so you graded out of the kicking class too,” Bulbasaur said, picking Togepi up with his vines and heading back to camp. “Let’s get some snacks to celebrate.”
“Yay!” Togepi cheered.
“Were you really expecting that?” Ash asked Darkrai as he put him down.
“I remembered the punching class and decided it was better to err on the side of caution,” Darkrai told him.
The Spearow flapped a wing at the rest of them, still staring after Bulbasaur and Togepi. “So uh—this Oak’s lab thing—how far away is it?”
“Pretty far, I think,” Patches said, looking at Pikachu for confirmation.
“It sure feels far away,” Pikachu agreed.
“Okay so I think I’d like to be there and as far away from that as possible,” the Spearow said.
“Go talk to Ash then,” Pikachu said, pointing at Ash.
“Right—you,” the Spearow said, flying over to Ash. “I want to be as far away from this looney bin as possible.”
“You realize you’d be captured and then part of the looney bin, correct?” Darkrai asked it.
“Oh you want to come with us?” Ash asked, apparently glossing over the looney bin part.
“Will I be required to participate in looney bin antics?” the Spearow asked.
“The bird wants to know if you’ll be calling on it anytime soon,” Darkrai told Ash.
“Uh…maybe when we get back to Vermillion, so…not anytime soon,” Ash said, grimacing. “Is that okay?”
“Say at least a month,” Darkrai told it.
“I can live with a month.”
“I mean if you wait we’ll be gone in like a day,” Gengar told it.
“Really?” the Spearow asked. “Well in that case bye,” it said, flapping away before Ash could get the Pokéball out.
“Ah man,” Ash groaned, watching it fly off. “I was so close.”
“Real smooth,” Pikachu told Gengar flatly.
“Eheh…oops,” Gengar noised.
